In Confidence… Part 1

My beautiful sirens, your favorite Detroit sex doula here! I wanted to spend some time with you talking about one of the biggest things I see come up in my practice as a sexuality doula and intimacy coach – CONFIDENCE.

I’m not talking just about feeling good in your favorite outfit, or knowing you did well on prepping for an upcoming meeting, or even just having a partner who thinks you’re smoking hot.

I mean truly, deep down in your deepest core, feeling secure and strong and capable.

Grounded in your divine feminine.

Fully powerful.

Soft and yet erotic.

Ever-capable.

And on top of it all, authentically loving yourself.

You may almost chuckle at that as you read it, and perhaps for different reasons. Maybe that word itself feels like a faraway dream, as you do your shadow work to heal old wounds and insecurities. Maybe you settle for the more outward versions of what society defines as confident, without ever feeling settled in your own skin. Maybe you help yourself to measure your worth alongside a romantic partner, and what value you help to bring to your life together. Maybe even the idea itself of self love feels a bit foreign, and you didn’t have that modeled for you growing up.

Individually, sure, when dealt with or tweaked in an appropriate way, those first three things can all be singular displays of confidence. But it doesn’t capture the feeling of being at home within yourself.

The world can be a harsh place, and it is very easy to let it wear us down. We’re all interconnected more than ever before, with a constantly transmitted electronic feedback loop that’s rewiring our brains.

We’re saturated with social media, with filters, with these snapshot images of what looks like a perfect life. Need I remind you that those images are not reality? Think about when the curtains are pulled back, and what reveals itself behind the scenes… rarely does that match up with that perfectly curated Instagram grid.

To be confident, truly confident, is an incredibly complex matter. It’s not something that you achieve once, and “have” forever. It’s meant to be constantly worked at, maintained, nurtured.

As with all good things, it comes with time and consistent effort. I know… groan. More work? Who has the time?

My dear siren, if I have said this once, I’ll say it a thousand times more. You are forever your own best investment, and your most glorious masterpiece. You are worth it.

To follow.. part two!