What’s ‘Shadow Work’, and Why Is It Vital to Sexuality?

Hello, sirens!

I am sure you have seen various hashtags, TikToks, maybe even Pinterest prompts dedicated to the idea of shadow work. But, perhaps, you’re not quite familiar with what that really means, and what it would entail for you.

To break it down, the modern idea of the shadow self came from psychoanalyst Carl Jung. He said “there is no light without shadow, and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.” So, the idea is that there are the really good, or ‘light’ parts of us that we show to the world, and the not so good parts, or our ‘shadow’, which we hide away.

Of course, this idea of light versus dark or good versus bad has been around since well before this millennium. I want to remind you that we have both of these in us inherently, as we’re all complex and intricate beings. There are some ‘spiritual bypassers’ among us who fully deny the existence of their shadow self, which I feel is dangerous. Those people are usually the same people that preach a message of love and light and are yet are totally ill equipped to deal with the deeper themes of life. You know that life isn’t all sunshine and roses all the time, and you deserve better than someone who would try to deny parts of you.

I am sure you are seeing now how this plays right into the concepts of sexuality and sensuality. As a doula and coach, I deal every day with people that are struggling with this elemental duality. The forever juxtaposition of the Madonna and the whore will likely never fully go away, and we’ve been taught that we fit into one of those two boxes. There’s many factors that can play a part in that, namely societal values, religious standards, patriarchal themes, the list goes on. The ‘light’ aspects of sexuality would be the sanitized, family friendly versions: mother and child, a family with the white picket fence, you get the picture. The ‘dark’ aspects would really be anything that falls outside of those stringent and outdated guidelines: pleasure, kink, taboos, everything you shouldn’t be talking about at the dinner table with grandma.

To bring it back home, what does this have to do with shadow work? Think again of our shadow self. What does this part of us contain? That is our shame, our trauma, our jealousies and anger, whatever we would try to hide from others so as to appear “better”. Shadow work involves exploring these ‘darker’ parts of ourselves, befriending them and treating them with love, so that we can work to heal and integrate it, and become whole! When integrated with your natural eroticism and sexual wellness, shadow work can be a very powerful tool to bridge the gap between your inner Madonna and whore. You are all of the things, all at once, and you deserve it all. Don’t let anyone tell you any different!

To give yourself a jumpstart on your shadow work, you can download my journaling guide HERE: https://saintsandsirenswellness.com/product/shadow-work-journal-prompts/, or book a session with me so I can lead you through it. https://saintsandsirenswellness.com/product/shadow-work-60-minutes-guided-session-2/

As always, wishing you a sexy day. Be well!